This is so true.
While I do not feel sorry for the abuser, because I see the damage he has done to others (ESPECIALLY the children)...
I remain grateful that I am NOT LIKE him...
- I have empathy...
- I feel pity...
- I am imperfect and I can SEE THAT.
- I have family that loves me and whom I love.
- I can make the BIGGEST MISTAKE in the world and that will not change.
- I do not have to remember whether A is talking to B this week...or whether B is talking to C.
- I do not have to manipulate, or PAY, to get my children to do something I want done...I only have to ask.
- I do not have to wonder where my money will come from because I am willing to work.
- I do not have to argue with my children to sway them to my opinions and I do not have to lie to alter their perception of me.
- When they look back they will see that I never abandoned them or let them wear the same clothes 5 days in a row because I refused to buy them any.
- They will never be able to look back at me and call me a hypocrite or remember that I took them on dates with a man while I was still married...
- They will never be able to look back and remember a SINGLE lie I ever knowingly told them.
- They may look back and see that I have made mistakes but they will know that I never purposely harmed them.
- I do not have to demand, or punish, them into respecting me.
- I do not have to worry that the IRS will catch up with me.
- My children will never look back and see that I denied them anything they needed simply because I had better things to spend my money on.
- My children may look back and remember occasional anger in my eyes and screams on my lips but they will never remember those things without also seeing the tears in my eyes and hearing me apologize to them for losing control.
- My children will never look back and remember days when I was PLAYING and chose not to be there...
- They may remember that I worked a great deal but they will also remember that my closet was never full of new clothes, I never had the very latest I-Phone in my purse, I never bought myself "toys" and then claimed to have no money to buy them shoes.
- My children will never look back and remember me throwing them out of my house, saying I no longer wanted to be their Mother or abandoning them.
- My children will never remember a SINGLE TIME when I denied them a hamburger because someone else (who is more important) might feel left out if they eat without them.
- My children will never remember a time when they had to lower their voices because I was outside their door listening...or hide their phones because I might go through their text messages.
- My children will remember that I trusted EACH of them enough to lend them my ATM card...shared my passwords...left money laying out without fear that it would be taken...
YEP....there are things to be grateful for....