Tuesday, March 8, 2016

DISTORTED NARCISSISTIC THINKING...ACCORDING TO EXPERTS


In Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders, Aaron T. Beck, Arthur Freeman, and associates (1990) list typical beliefs associated with each specific personality disorder. Here are the typical beliefs that they have listed (pp. 361-362) for Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
  • I am a very special person.
  • Since I am so superior, I am entitled to special treatment and privileges.
  • I don’t have to be bound by the rules that apply to other people.
  • It is very important to get recognition, praise, and admiration.
  • If others don’t respect my status, they should be punished.
  • Other people should satisfy my needs.
  • Other people should recognize how special I am.
  • It’s intolerable if I’m not accorded my due respect or don’t get what I’m entitled to.
  • Other people don’t deserve the admiration or riches that they get.
  • People have no right to criticize me.
  • No one’s needs should interfere with my own.
  • Since I am so talented, people should go out of their way to promote my career.
  • Only people as brilliant as I am understand me.
  • I have every reason to expect grand things.
From Children of the Self Absorbed: A Grownup’s Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown
  • Turns every conversation to him or herself.
  • Expects you to meet his or her emotional needs.
  • Ignores the impact of his negative comments on you.
  • Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you.
  • Focuses on blaming rather than taking responsibility for his own behavior.
  • Expects you to jump at his every need.
  • Is overly involved with his own hobbies, interests or addictions and ignores your needs.
  • Has a high need for attention.
  • Brags, sulks, complains, inappropriately teases and is flamboyant, loud and boisterous.
  • Is closed minded about own mistakes. Can’t handle criticism and gets angry to shut it off.
  • Becomes angry when his needs are not met and throws tantrums or intimidates.
  • Has an attitude of “anything you can do, I can do better.”
  • Engages in one-upmanship to seem important.
  • Acts in a seductive manner or is overly charming.
  • Is vain and fishes for compliments. Expects you to admire him.
  • Isn’t satisfied unless he has the “biggest” or “best.”
  • Seeks status. Spends money to impress others.
  • Forgets what you have done for them yet keeps reminding you that you owe them today.
  • Neglects the family to impress others. Does it all: Is a super person to gain admiration.
  • Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what he wants.
  • Does not obey the law—sees himself above the law.
  • Does not expect to be penalized for failure to follow directions or conform to guidelines.
  • Ignores your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings.
  • Tells you how you should feel or not feel.
  • Cannot listen to you and cannot allow your opinions.
  • Is more interested in his own concerns and interests than yours.
  • Is unable to see things from any point of view other than his own.
  • Wants to control what you do and say—tries to micromanage you.
  • Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own.
  • Has poor insight and can not see the impact his selfish behavior has on you.
  • Has shallow emotions and interests.
  • Exploits others with lies and manipulations.
  • Uses emotional blackmail to get what he wants.
  • May engage in physical or sexual abuse of children.

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