Thursday, September 10, 2015
WHAT THE NARCISSIST MEANS WHEN HE SAYS, “I'VE BEEN BURNED”.
Narcissists are often great story tellers, especially their own story, but they are also great editors as well. They can spin a story of great heartache, pain, and rejection by the “love of their life”, often more than once....SO, they get you to care take them and take it on yourself to make sure this “wonderful man” isn't hurt again. Except, it's not true at all.
If he cheated on his ex wife or GF, he will tell a story of sexual rejection and an empty marriage devoid of love, in which he was languishing in deep pain. Reality...he met a young thing at work and had a fling, or found new supply somewhere, but she's onto him now.
However, the story might be that his ex cheated, or was frigid, or cold and distant. He's just a guy looking for life long love. Actually, he's looking for supply and to add you to his harem.
My NarcX wife told everyone that she HAD to divorce me. Had no choice. She's a martyred single mother just trying to get by, with an abusive and dangerous ex who wants to kill her if he can, and who's a horrible father. Reality...she was in the middle of an affair with a married man, took no interest in her kids, is an alcoholic, who was rarely at home except to sleep, and was incredibly verbally abusive.
You get the drill...they have a great story of how they were burned...MAKING THEM VICTIMS rather than victimizers, which they are. Told with great sincerity and emotion, these stories are convincing, which is how we get hooked. Often, only much later, when things have been going awry for some time, do we begin to doubt their truth.
Narcs are so good at spinning stories that we never know when they are being truthful, since all stories are told with apparent sincerity and often, with strong emotion. They are the heroes of their own fairy tales. What the N means when he says, “I've been burned” is that they set the house on fire with them in it and now complain that it's hot in here.
at 12:05 PM