Wednesday, September 23, 2015

NARCISSISTS DON'T WANT TO RESOLVE PROBLEMS

And that's a very important thing to understand if you are still trying to persuade a narcissist to see your side of things.  The narcissists has disagreements IN ORDER TO ABUSE YOU, and that's how they approach them....they dominate, control, and abuse you, to put you under their thumb and make you walk on egg shells. 

Narcissists "blame and shame" rather than reason things out, so, to the narcissist, YOU are responsible for their anger and abuse....you "make them hurt you", or in my NarcX's case, I "made her hurt" my son. 

This is a form if deflection, and also of gaslighting, since, being a decent person, you begin to question yourself to see if you actually did cause the narcissist's anger....until you see the narcissist for what they are, that is. 

To make it clear, the narcissist's anger and rage is a TACTIC....and it has a purpose, which is to make us afraid....and, perhaps, make us lose OUR temper, so the narcissist can call us crazy and abusive to us and to our friends and family.  The narcissist calls you emotionally unstable while never mentioning their abuse of you or your kids.

At some point, we may feel hopeless and helpless, since there seems to be no way to avoid the narcissist's wrath and manipulations, and we may lose our support system.  That's why this page can be so important, since you hear the experiences of others and can communicate your experiences to a sympathetic audience. 

Remember, don't reach out to those who don't care, or those who are the narcissist's flying monkeys.  Reach out...that's important...but to those that DO care, and those that can and will help.

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