Thursday, September 10, 2015


Here's what WE see when we detach and observe the narcissist closely. It's striking how fantasy prone a narcissist is and how self centered and self absorbed, and what a radical difference between how the narcissist sees themselves compared to how they really are.  For example, the narcissist:

  • Turns every conversation to him or herself.

  • Expects you to meet his or her emotional needs but not vice versa. 

  • Is oblivious to the impact of his negative comments on you. 

  • Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you and tells you what you should and should not feel.

  • Focuses on blaming you or others instead of taking responsibility for his own behavior. 

  • Expects you to anticipate his every need.

  • Is highly absorbed in his own hobbies, interests, to the point of ignoring your and your children's needs. 

  • Constantly seeks to be the center of attention. 

  • Inappropriately teases and ignores the hurt he causes.

  • Refuses to acknowledge his own mistakes. Can’t handle criticism and uses anger to shut it down.

  • Has an attitude of “anything you can do, I can do better.”

  • Engages in one-upmanship to seem important. 

  • Acts in a seductive or flirtatious manner and pours on the charm when in public.

  • Expects to be admired...may use false modesty to fish for compliments.

  • Thinks he has to have latest, or the “biggest” and “best.” 

  • Very status oriented

  • No sense of gratitude, but rather thinks YOU owe THEM.

  • Fake persona, acts like the “perfect” person, husband, or father, to gain admiration. 

  • Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what he wants. Lets you know you'd better cater to his sexual fantasies or he will find someone who will.

  • Sees himself above the rules and doesn't expect to be penalized for not following them. 

  • Shames your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings. 

  • Is unable to see things from any point of view other than his own. 

  • Wants to control what you do and say—tries to micromanage you. 

  • Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own. 

  • Has poor insight

  • Has shallow emotions and interests.
  • Exploits others with lies and manipulations.

  • Uses emotional blackmail to get what he wants. 

  • Engages in physical, psychological, or sexual abuse....makes you feel used.

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