Thursday, September 10, 2015


Here's what WE see when we detach and observe the narcissist closely. It's striking how fantasy prone a narcissist is and how self centered and self absorbed, and what a radical difference between how the narcissist sees themselves compared to how they really are.  For example, the narcissist:

  • Turns every conversation to him or herself.

  • Expects you to meet his or her emotional needs but not vice versa. 

  • Is oblivious to the impact of his negative comments on you. 

  • Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you and tells you what you should and should not feel.

  • Focuses on blaming you or others instead of taking responsibility for his own behavior. 

  • Expects you to anticipate his every need.

  • Is highly absorbed in his own hobbies, interests, to the point of ignoring your and your children's needs. 

  • Constantly seeks to be the center of attention. 

  • Inappropriately teases and ignores the hurt he causes.

  • Refuses to acknowledge his own mistakes. Can’t handle criticism and uses anger to shut it down.

  • Has an attitude of “anything you can do, I can do better.”

  • Engages in one-upmanship to seem important. 

  • Acts in a seductive or flirtatious manner and pours on the charm when in public.

  • Expects to be admired...may use false modesty to fish for compliments.

  • Thinks he has to have latest, or the “biggest” and “best.” 

  • Very status oriented

  • No sense of gratitude, but rather thinks YOU owe THEM.

  • Fake persona, acts like the “perfect” person, husband, or father, to gain admiration. 

  • Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what he wants. Lets you know you'd better cater to his sexual fantasies or he will find someone who will.

  • Sees himself above the rules and doesn't expect to be penalized for not following them. 

  • Shames your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings. 

  • Is unable to see things from any point of view other than his own. 

  • Wants to control what you do and say—tries to micromanage you. 

  • Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own. 

  • Has poor insight

  • Has shallow emotions and interests.
  • Exploits others with lies and manipulations.

  • Uses emotional blackmail to get what he wants. 

  • Engages in physical, psychological, or sexual abuse....makes you feel used.


  1. After point two (2) the author seems to assume that all narcissists are male.

    1. Use of the masculine pronoun for all is common. Much easier than constantly saying he/she or him/her

  2. Yeah, I noticed that but the friend I am sending this to is male dealing with a female narcissist/soul sucker.

  3. I have to own up to most of the observations, however I thought that these are the norms of the human condition. A sort of self protection mechanism.Often used in banter in order not to be crushed in convivial conversation.

  4. Yep.....I concur....that is my ex.