- Have they already targeted a victim (so they will adapt the persona to suit that victim) or are they taking on the persona so they can begin targeting new victims?
- What are they trying to hide?
- What are they trying to gain...what is the desired pay off?
- What environment are they in?
- What will be most readily accepted and praised?
- What lessons did they learn from the prior victim?
- Are they adopting the persona of an existing person or character or are they creating their own persona from scratch?
- What are their current interests and can they be adapted into the persona?
- What "baggage", beliefs or stereotypes does the predator bring into the relationship? (Often, even when they try NOT to...even when they are UNAWARE that they carry these beliefs and stereotypes, they are SO INGRAINED in the predator that they automatically incorporate them into every persona. If the prey was aware that they were being targeted...these might be one of the first, noticeable, red flags. Often these beliefs are so ridiculous and contradictory that it would be apparent to us....if we were not being primed by the love-bombing. These are beliefs the predator assume to be FACTS and assumes that OTHERS believe as well. In their black and white thinking, they often do not consider these beliefs OPINIONS and, therefore, they never consider that the prey will not see it the same way. Since they never consider that they could be MISTAKEN, these are incorporated as part, and parcel, of the persona).
- If the victim has already been targeted...what knowledge of the predator does the victim already have and what parts of this knowledge cannot be denied or altered?
- Successful Outcome :
The victim will feel that the predator is a "catch" and feel an urgency not to "lose them". The victim may also be in a hurry to obtain a commitment from the predator. Often the victim feels like the ones who let them go were, obviously, stupid. The predator will end up with more psychological power in the budding relationship although it is common for the prey to feel that they are actually in a position of power at this time.
- Possible backfires:
Occasionally, the prey will make an early decision that they are not interested in "competing" for the attention of the predator OR the prey may have such low self-esteem that they feel unable to compete or unworthy of the predator. This can lead the prey to back off from the relationship. If this happens, the predator is usually quick to assure the prey that they will "put an end to this nonsense" due to blooming feelings of love. Often this is effective in keeping the prey engaged. The predator will either do this damage control or will move on to other prey....depending upon the payoff expected from this prey,
- Successful Outcome:
The Prey/Victim will begin to operate in the relationship as an Inferior to the predators Superior. This can be subtle, at first, but marks the beginning of an imbalance in the relationship which assigns special privilege and rights to the predator and encourages the prey to defer to the predator in many things.
- Possible backfires:
The prey may begin to see the predator as "pushy" and "cocky" and this may cause the prey to begin backing out of the relationship. The predator will, then, either do damage control or will move on to other prey....depending upon the payoff expected from this prey.
The Prey/Victim will begin to see the predator as, obviously, Superior and may begin to see them as being correct in these actions. This increases the imbalance in the relationship which assigns special privilege and rights to the predator and encourages the prey to defer to the predator in many things. The victim may begin to see the predator as their "protector" and to rely on the predator to "do the talking".
Emotionally healthier prey may begin to see the predator as cruel, cocky and unreasonable and this may cause the prey to begin backing out of the relationship. The predator will, then, either do damage control or will move on to other prey....depending upon the payoff expected from this prey.
The prey/victim will have ever increasing respect for the struggles of the predator and try very hard to be understanding and supportive. Prey will show great amounts of sympathy and will be unlikely to question the validity of any issues or accusations made against the predator.
More emotionally healthy prey may begin to question this reported, frequent persecution and its validity. May begin to question the predator about their part in these conflicts or their handling of these conflicts. The predator will, then, either do damage control, utilize anger to shut down the prey (if they can) or will move on to other prey....depending upon the payoff expected from this prey.
The prey will fear and hate the ex partners for their abuse of such a "wonderful, compassionate" person. The exes and the prey will not communicate at all so that this description of the ex is not questioned or found to be a lie.
More emotionally healthy prey may begin to question how one person managed to find so many demented, crazy, abusive partners and begin to ask questions about the predators part in the conflicts The predator will, then, either do damage control, utilize anger or threats of abandonment to shut down the prey (if they can) or will move on to other prey....depending upon the payoff expected from this prey.
The prey will engage in any sexual act demanded (err...requested) by the predator whether or not it is enjoyable. The prey will not refuse sex and this will be placed as first priority in the relationship. The prey will NEVER attempt to alter the sex or state what is bothering them about it because they have been taught that this will NOT be accepted by the predator. The prey becomes an object of sex and is not allowed to effect any changes.
Sally Home-Maker/The Family Guy
The prey, over time, becomes increasingly tolerant, and silent, about nearly all abusive behaviors of the predator. They begin to "buy-in" to what they predator tells them...that these things are petty, unimportant and silly. The prey also becomes used to pretending that everything is fine and begins to wonder if they are "too sensitive" or "expecting perfection". Often, eventually, the prey ceases to attempt to affect any change in the behavior of the predator and will DEFEND and bad behavior that is pointed out by others.
The prey begins to feel very enmeshed with the predator and begins to feel as though no one else on EARTH would love them if they "KNEW THE TRUTH". This increases the fear of loss of the predator and the urgent NEED to make them happy so they will not abandon the prey. LATER, when things start going downhill, the knowledge of what the predator KNOWS comes into play in keeping the prey feeling trapped and without options.
Over a period of time, the prey forgets that they WERE able to survive before the appearance of the predator... they become CONVINCED that they are losing their minds or that they cannot SURVIVE without the predator. Often, they will no longer take the chance of making ANY type of decision, instead, deferring all decisions and control to the predator as a means of self-defense.
The Youthful Hearted Joker